All right… I’ve gathered my thoughts and I re-watched the episode.

As I was saying before, this episode hurt me so much. It’s painful watching them say those words… Sam lying; Dean not trusting him anymore.

I love how they (writers) built the tension in Dean when he found out Sam’s still talking to Ruby. I was anticipating how Dean will confront Sam with that. I also love how they mixed the Monster of the Episode to the mytharc to the brothers’ issues. It’s perfect, just like Criss Angel’s episode parallelism – this time it’s not just the parallelism, it’s on them already.

I think Dean had a valid argument during the confrontation scene; I was so hurt with the words he uttered. He just wanted his brother back. OMG! Jensen broke my heart – he’s fantastic. In Metamorphosis, Sam had accused Dean of calling him a freak and that he was unreasonably prejudiced against his powers.  Dean finally broke his silence, "it isn't the demon blood, and it isn't the powers. It's the little things that say you aren't Sammy anymore, like the lying and sneaking around." I can understand why Dean wouldn’t want to trust Sam after everything that had happened. If I were Sam (in my brother!Sammy state of mind, I won’t have any answer to that but just a hug).

Nonetheless, after watching the episode again, I have to say I love where’s Sam’s heading. Ruthless and cold. (though of course, just temporarily – this season perhaps; plus Jared aced playing evil!Sam). Right now, I feel if both of them are always good and be just like what they were in season one, I’d get bored. I'd rather see a flawed Sam – it’s much more complex that way.

(Okay, speaking of season one, anyone thought of the “Winchester fight” in Asylum? It’s like a déjà vu.)

Also, I thought Dean referencing Sammy with his monsters was really mean. Madison, Ruby and now Cara? First of all, Sam never thought Madison was a monster (just like what he thought of Jack the Rugaru). It had hurt him to have no choice but to kill her. Then Dean throwing it at his face – that Madison is a monster? That was mean. :nod: Now, I can understand the anger and frustration when Sam threw the phone. Dean doesn’t trust him.

Now, let’s go to Sam’s argument… I liked the set up that Sam is going darkside, even if it hurts. Yep, I’m a masochist! Sam's resentment towards Dean, seeing him as weak was very much in character. Anakin Skywalker, ladies and gents. I think Ruby’s influence is taking its course. For me I think it’s all in not understanding everything – Sam is lost. He’s blaming Dean for making him feel this way. I think it’s his way of blocking all the pain he had to deal with when Dean went to hell. It's easier to think his problem is about him being the better hunter and Dean's holding him back. But inside, in reality, what he probably just wanted was to go back to when Dean took care of everything. Ruby says that he can stop Lilith and he’s the only one who can do it. He doesn’t understand that Dean’s “holding him back’ because he doesn’t want Sam to be harmed and to be consumed by that demon blood. Dean needs to let him know that, somehow.

Here’s what I think Sam is thinking - Dean went to hell to bring him back; Sam never asked him to do it and somehow Sam took it all in. Oh yes, didn’t we also see the resentment from Dean when their Dad made the deal to get him back, too?  So Sam may have been blaming himself for everything Dean went through in hell as well. His brother shouldn’t have to go through it if he never made a deal for him. Just like when their mom died, and Jess – it’s all because of his demon blood. I think what the writers want us to realize is that he is lost and is being reckless about it. He trusts Ruby because she believes in him. I know nothing good will ever come out of believing more in Ruby than his brother or using that demon powers, yet Sam is lost and blinded. He’s just thinking that the end will justify the means. Sam doesn’t care what happens to him, he just wants to end this Apocalypse and kill Lilith. He doesn’t want to grow old regretting everything that they didn’t do. Wicked, I must say, but that’s where he is right now.
I still think what’s happening to Sam is a character progression, logical. Everything was intertwined to what had happened before; everything is just answers from previous stuff that he has to deal with. Sam was always seeing Dean as his hero that he’s always following his footsteps. He wanted desperately to always get Dean’s approval. He sees his brother as the one he could always rely on. But now? He sees Dean as broken, weak from his time in hell. He’s looking for someone to be his rock. It can’t be Dean right now as he has his issues that Sam thinks happened because of him (because Dean saved him). Ruby’s manipulation, I think, is already getting into him. That and add the demonic powers that he wants to use to save people. Even if he won’t accept it, it’s already consuming him. I’m not surprised that Sam is shifting more into the demon side.

Okay, I’ll end this now as I think I’ve said everything I’ve already said. I’m not playing deaf and defending Sam for his actions and words. Yes, he was mean and that was uncalled for. I can understand the uproar to punch Sam in the face. I just wanted to point out what are the possible reasons why I think Sammy is Sam right now. The progression and all, again, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.